picture thoughts

• I can just imagine what y’all are thinking: Good God, is she going to put up yet another blog post about that wedding?
• As a matter of fact, yes I am.
• But you are rewarded with this picture of my five beautiful children with the Pacific Ocean in the background.
• Lucky you!
• I look at this picture and I can’t help but reflect on how lucky I am to have five beautiful, healthy, happy children.
• How the heck did that happen?
• Then I take a moment to feel gratitude for being so blessed.
• I look at Daniel and I feel just as proud as he looks. He was the cutest and best little ring bearer ever!
• My sister in law told me that at the rehearsal he took it upon himself to go up to the wedding coordinator and introduce himself. As he shook her hand he looked up and said, “Hi. My name is Daniel and I am in the wedding.”
• The bride was gorgeous but next to her, my girls were the prettiest ladies there.
• Jodie looks so much like my mother as a young woman it gives me chills.
• I have to say while looking at Jodie in this picture, that I don’t ever recall giving her permission to grow up.
• Holly just glows. Young love does that to a girl. So does a pretty dress.
• I look at Zoë and find myself hissing, “Stop slouching!”
• I did the same thing when I was her age.
• As always, Abby strikes a figure flattering, pretty pose. She really needs to teach me that.
• I like this shot so much of my kids I am thinking that this will likely be the Big Top Christmas card. I know last year it was just the kids and folks complained that next year Bill and I should be in the picture but this shot is perfect. Get over it people. Trust me, we haven’t changed too much except to get older.
• Which brings me to one more thought…
• Why must time fly by so damn quickly and our children grow up so fast. Really, why?

re-discovering the laws of gravity

Gravity is indeed one of the laws of nature that no one is immune to. For those of us who are afraid of heights it is a good thing that gravity works. I’m glad that it is there. I’m truly thankful for it. But I have to admit that I don’t necessarily care for the more personal physical reminders that gravity works. It happens. I know that. I accept it. I just don’t like to be reminded of it…especially while sharing a sweet tender moment with my little boy. You can read more about that tender moment when Daniel pointed out to me that gravity does indeed work over at ModMomsClub.

As for us, we are looking forward to gravity-defying amazing feats at Ringling Brother’s Zing Zang Zoom tonight thanks to MomCentral. It’s not too late, Northern California families, to take advantage of this great family fun offer.

getting carded buying Sharpies

Do I look like someone who regularly huffs Sharpies?

Never mind, don’t answer that. Kidding aside,  go read about my experience getting carded at a local Target while buying Sharpies here at ModMomsClub.

but I am THAT mom

No, I am not that mom who will put up with her children screaming or running amuck in public places where good behavior is expected…anymore! But I am the mom who will gladly, proudly celebrate that which makes me an awesome, phenomenal woman and joining Lotus of Sarcastic Mom and other equally phenomenal, awesome women and mothers in the Bewbfest ‘09.  It was all good, clean fun as we celebrated all the glorious shapes and sizes that we are. It was all the more fun because I am the second runner-up in this year’s Bewbfest. I have to thank everyone who voted for me…repeatedly including my darling hubs (nice to know he still appreciates the girls) and my older kids. It’s nice to know that the average sized, over forty, mother of five, grandmother of one rack can stack up to the 20 and 30-something mom bloggers out there. Thank you!

Of course right about now I am imagining my mother and her fellow “bra burners”  are cringing over what might appear to be blatant objectifying of my physical self. Perhaps it is a little objectifying but I see it more as celebrating and reclaiming a little bit of our physical selves. It seems that much is measured  in our physical selves as women, particularly our breasts: what is considered to be the ideal size and shape, our sexuality, our ability and decision to nourish the children we give birth to and how well we “hold up” as we age. No wonder so many of us complain about and dislike our own bodies, including our breasts. To me, The Bewbfest and The Boob Emancipation do a little celebrating and reclaiming the right to celebrate part of our own physical womanliness. There’s nothing dirty or tasteless in that. It’s just boobs, our boobs and we are pretty damn proud of them. I don’t see that as setting us back but rather liberating us even further. Being the mother of four daughters and grandmother of the most amazing grand daughter it is a big deal that I model confidence and a little self-love in the body that God has given me for my girls.

I have to say that I owe my size and shape not only partly to great genes (thanks Mom and Dad), a pretty great bra but also to my joining that cult that is the Shredheads. Remember when I posted my pre-shredding picture at over 180 lbs? Yeah, I’d like to forget it too. But I’m glad I did post it and share the beginning of my shredding experience. I am even more grateful for the accountability, support and beginning friendships that the Shredheads has offered. Most of us have moved past Jillian’s 30 Day Shred and Bob’s Yoga finding running, weights and other forms of exercise equally challenging in our quest for fitness. The results among my fellow Shredheads has been amazing and inspiring.  For mepersonally I have seen a significant amount of weight and inches lost and currently I am just 10 lbs shy of my personal goal. I’m not going to make the mid-July, family vacation date I set for myself to achieve that goal but I have to say that I am going to be very close. I couldn’t be prouder of that achievement too. Even better, the added bonus of all of this shredding and now jogging/walking/weights/yoga is my darling hubs is now heading to the gym working with a trainer and it is beginning to show.

Looking good in jeans,that little black dress, a swimsuit, and when I am brave enough, a bikini is pretty cool. Looking great for a forty-seven year old woiman and being told so, especially by my husband and kids is wonderful. Feeling good physically and mentally, feeling strong and feeling incredibly energetic so that I can do the juggling that I do is the best of all. Yes, I am THAT kind of mom. I am doing this for me, my hubs, my kids and my grandkid. I can’t think of a better reason.

what blind dates and kissing can lead to

Billy and Laura sittin’ in a tree…

K-I-S-S-I-N-G…
first comes love…

then comes marriage…

then comes all these babies (and grandbaby) in the baby carriage!

yes he's smiling...he's smiling on the inside so he says

and that, boys and girls, is what blind dates and kissing can lead to.

Happy 26th anniversary my darling husband!

500 teeny-tiny pieces with some assembly required

Karma does come back often to bite one in the butt. I know this is true. The scars are my butt (and pride) are proof enough of that.

Years ago, when Bill and I were fresh, young, newbie parents who knew everything there was to know about parenting…even more than our parents who managed to raise us and our siblings, because we were younger, smarter, hipper and we had technology; okay, back on subject, years ago Bill and I made a very conscious choice to NOT make a big deal about Santa Claus with our children. We would make it clear what the true meaning of Christmas was and eschew any and all suggestion that the fat guy made their Christmas wishes come true. Our hearts were in the right place, really. We both were overwhelmed by the the spirit of gimmee-everything-I-want-because-I-asked-for-it-dammit that was all around us and just wanted our kids to be focused on the birth of the little Lord Jesus and to want to give, share and love.

Noble goals.

Altruistic goals.

Good goals!

Goals made by parents of a newborn child with no other parenting experience other than scraping meconium off their baby’s tender butt.

Still we persevered…vainly.

Our growing family, with a little help from the family and friends, tried their hardest to include the fat guy as much as possible. We grudgingly obliged but still made it clear that the gifts under “our” tree come from mom and dad who work their butts off for you because we love you and you, our children still managed to thrive and grow knowing that yes, there is a Santa Claus…at the mall, our church, their school, on tv and (in their reality) in their mommy and daddy. Our karma for our efforts extended further in that since we did not believe in the fat guy we were doomed to have to assemble all the trikes, bikes, Barbie Dream Houses, Barbie Campers and any other crazy-0assed Barbie contraption that contained at least 300 Barbie feet-sized pieces. all by ourselves on Christmas Eve. We were on our own as the fat guy, with his eight tiny reindeer, would pass over the Big Top.

Where the hell are Santa’s elves??

Not here under the Big Top because there was no love for the fat guy here and he and his elves were ho-ho-ho-ing over our karma.

But time has softened our edges a bit. We are now “experienced” parents who have come to learn what battle is worth going to war over versus the one we seek armistice over. In other words, Santa is okay. In fact, Santa is kind of cool. It turns out he doesn’t diminish our super powers at all and he only helps in the whole idea that this is a season for love, for caring, for sharing, for giving and to celebrate the little Lord Jesus’ birthday. Hey, Santa likes birthday cake too!…Yeah, we are “older”, “wiser” and tired now. We are counting on the future high-school-aged Daniel’s sisters to keep him from having a kegger in the sitting room while we watch Jeopardy in the family room because, on this one topic ONLY mom and dad were wrong.

So given the fact that we have caved and we now openly embrace Santa and all his santa-licious goodness one would thing we wouldn’t be dealing with the tears and trials of assembly of the toys Daniel tells Santa that he is wishing for. That’s what we were thinking as Bill fumbled, grumbled (and maybe cursed) while assembling with Daniel an early Christmas gift from Santa’s wish list…the Lego Sponge Bob Chum Bucket….Barbie’s Dream House was a piece of cake compared to this thing. Whatever happened to a plain old bucket of legos and a kid’s imagination? That’s what Bill grumbled. My dad, the giver of the Lego Chum Bucket, just laughed because he remembers our anti-Santa rhetoric back in the day.

Still I wonder after the ordeal of assembling this toy and-no-we-are-not-tearing-it-down-and-putting-it-back-together-ever-again I am wondering if the jolly, fat elf in red is really going to leave us twisting in the wind if Daniel gets this Quercettiu Marble Run with motorized elevator. Okay so it isn’t 500 teeny-tiny pieces to assemble but it may as well be come Christmas Eve night. I mean I do work in a hospital…on holidays…on Christmas Eve night…c’mon, Santa! It was on the boy’s wish list…the one he emailed to you. You could give a little love here…just one little elf, please.

Boys are easier!

Sheesh!

I’m no chaperone

Seen and heard recently under the Big Top:

The scene: Mom and kids lounging in the livingroom watching TV when a commercial for some heartburn medicine comes on. The actress in the commercial is laughing, eating, drinking and dancing all because she remembered to take her heartburn meds. Good for her!

Darling Circus Clown- Oh GAWD! She doing “The Chaperone”!

Mommy~Dearest- The what?

Darling Circus Clown- “The Chaperone”.  She’s dancing “the Chaperone”. You know, like at school dances…YOU don’t dance like that? Do you?

Mommy~Dearest- No…

Darling Circus Clown- You do! (to other circus clown in the room) Mom dances like that.

Mommy~Dearest- I’m never dancing in front of any of you kids ever!

For those (like me) who don’t know what “The Chaperone” is, well, I couldn’t find a video of the commercial but I did find this video.

I’m no chaperone and I am never, ever dancing in front of my children. Not ever.

I’ve got a map!

But I don’t think this is the kind of map that would help Dora and Boots. No, this map is on my right leg and is a map of the veins that a vascular surgeon will be removing tomorrow morning. He promises just a few tiny incisions, lots of bruising and swelling and a lovely compression dressing that I will wear for a few days.  Then in a few weeks, the road map that has been prominently on display on my right leg since I was in high school will be gone. Even better, the pain and swelling I have been dealing with for a couple years related to my dysfunctional circulation will be gone. In the meantime, I have this awesome sharpie pen tattoo to enjoy.

4 minutes to inspiration

Christie, from Baby Tea Leaves wonders what inspired us this week

Love her, hate her, no matter how you feel about her you got to admit that damn she makes 50 look good and this week especially, she inspired me in my workouts. Okay I’m not completely down with the skeletal looking arms but still there aren’t very many 50 year olds who can move like her.

I have this video loaded on my ‘Pod and it does pop up from time to time on my shuffle while I am working out. Okay, it is actually part of my current workout mix. But when it does play I swear I find myself working harder and feeling stronger and faster as if I could save the world in four minutes.

I’m living the dream, people. Just living the dream.

pushin’ real good

Christie over at Baby Tea Leaves asked for this week’s HFH project that we share our “push it” moment this week.

She writes:

I mentioned Saturday that weeks four and five were the hardest for me in terms of losing weight when I first began because my body was literally hanging onto the weight for dear life, thinking I wasn’t really serious. But after week four, it really started to do its thing. So seriously, everyone who hasn’t been seeing results yet, if you’ve been working out and eating right, it will happen, trust me. Keep pushing along. That’s what this week’s challenge is about. It’s simple. During your workouts this week, at least once, venture out of your comfort zone and PUSH IT. I mean, really push it, push your reps, push your “limit” on how long you run or how fast, walk for longer than you’ve ever walked before, something. Not to make your body fold, no, that’s not the point. The point is to become conscious of what’s “normal” for you, and exceed that, just a little. Show yourself that your body can do amazing things if you want it to.

Then, (the project part) come back Friday and tell us about it. Link it up and post about it. Tell us your “I worked my butt off” moment. Or moments. Because if you have more than one, that’s awesome and everyone should know! So good luck this week!!!

My workouts have been going great since I started. I have motivation to keep me going and a schedule that holds me accountable. Monday through Thursday my tiny dancer, Jodie, is at competition dance practices honing her skills as the best tap dancer evah which gives an hour or so to: (a) hang out with the other dance moms and gossip; (b) shop at the nearby Target; (c) hang out at the Starbucks just down the street; or (d) head over the gym and work it. Now a, b and c are all definitely something fun to do but then I have to remind myself that gossiping really isn’t a good thing to do, the Big Top budget just can’t handle daily shopping excursions to Tar-jay and hanging out at the ‘bucks down the street would only push the scale up, up and up…plus it isn’t the ‘bucks where Hollie works so I wouldn’t be treated extra special which I have become accustomed to. This leaves d as the only really good option. The other thing that keeps me going is the fact in about two weeks I will be out of commission temporarily while I recover from elective surgery. I am determined to workout as much as I can to reach my HFH personal goal and also to help improve my post-op recovery.

Still, in spite of my incentive and accountability, this past Monday was HARD. I really overdid it while at Disneyland with part of my circus act. It didn’t help that In wasn’t wearing the most supportive of shoes while walking everywhere all day for two days. Any activity just made me cringe because my feet, ankles and legs hurt so badly. But when the time came to take Jodie to dance I convinced myself that I should still hit the gym. I could just do some very easy cardio on a recumbant cycle I assured myself. So I went. Unfortunately, or fortunately, the “easy” cardio machines were all busy so I had to jump on my favorite elliptical. I could still just go slow and maybe only do twenty minutes I told myself. But like a little hamster on the hamster wheel, once I got on and fired up my cardio mix on my iPod, I pushed myself and pushed myself real good for a good 45 minute cardio session. Oh lordy did I feel good when I finished. Funny thing was my feet, ankles and legs no longer were throbbing.

Imagine that!

That workout was exactly what I needed. Progress, for now, is real slow for me here which I guess is one of those hazards of being closer to 50 than to 40 but I do see changes. The biggest change is I am back on it as far as workouts and that is the best thing regardless of the dress size or the number on the scale.