Adventures in Juggling

Daniel: I quit the Earth ’cause I am going to space pretty soon.

Now try to get him to repeat that for the video camera…

Yeah.

While babysitting Hazel yesterday afternoon, Uncle Daniel proved to be very helpful. He was ever on alert to notify me of every little grunt, squeak, yawn or fart she might produce. She never did cry because Uncle Dan wouldn’t allow her to get that worked up. He kept a careful eye on her dozing in her baby swing lest Grandmommy miss something. When she woke from her nap with a soggy diaper and an empty belly, he was right by my side handing me her pacifier to soothe her and her burp cloth in preparation for feeding her. He was so eager with his bright, shiny smile, soothing voice, helpful hands and tender touch that I just had to praise him. I told him that Hazel is so lucky to have an uncle that loves her so much.

He modestly agreed saying, “Yeah, but I won’t change her diapers!“

“There’s just some things an uncle shouldn’t do, eh?“

“Yeah, no diapers!“

Overheard this week under the Big Top:

Daniel (talking to his best friend, Ryan): Baby Hazel isn’t inside Holly’s tummy anymore!

Ryan: Yeah…

Daniel: I wonder how she got out. Do you know how she got out of Holly’s tummy?

Ryan (shrugs): I don’t know. Do you want to play cars?

Daniel: Sure!

One way to help your big sister after she has had a baby is offer a relaxing scalp and neck masage.

…or maybe it is one way to annoy her.

But who needs words when Uncle Dan’s joyful smile says it all.

Settle down now. This isn’t who you think it is. Uncle Dan is just getting in some practice with the sweet baby girl of one of Holly’s friends.

What I won’t do to get blog traffic!

Seriously, Sunshine has been hosting an ink party the last couple of days that I hung out at. I think I drank too many margaritas at the party because I willingly took my top off for the masses all in the name of sharing ink. But it is all for good, really.

Most folks who have been regular readers here under the Big Top are well aware of the tattoos I have. For Sunshine I willingly shared my very first one because, well, a girl never forgets her first time and because it is the one that started it all. For those folks who don’t know, the tattoo I shared at the party is the tiny baby feet.

Isn’t it too-too cute? Not the boob, you boob! The feet! Aren’t those itty-bitty feet amazing?

These baby feet may be small, measuring only about 1 inch in length, but they represent so much. They are actual sized replicas of Daniel Quinn’s feet when he was born and tipped the scales at 1lb 6 oz. Those feet are beyond precious. Those feet are amazing. Those feet are attached to the strongest, bravest person I have ever known. The most macho, knuckle-dragging man could never, ever endure all the pain that my son has lived through.

The ink also represents the bond that Daniel and I have. There is nothing like the connection between a mother and a child. While pregnant with my daughters and later breastfeeding them, I enjoyed an amazing symbiosis that no one else could have with them. I was connected to the girls in a way that no one on this Earth could be and ever will be. For Daniel there is a connection between the two of us not unlike the one I have with his sisters. No I did not carry him in my womb. No he is not intimately connected to the sound of my beating heart since his conception. But he knows my heart beat and knows that when he hears it he is home and safe in his mommy’s arms. I will never, ever forget the very first time we made that connection. A person who has never made that kind of connection can’t even begin to understand just how connected adoptive parents and children are. Anyone who has never experienced the connection with biological children and adoptive children can not presume to say that they are different. For me they are very much the same. It is true that Daniel is not my biological child and while we do share many similar characteristics we do not share the same DNA. Still he was, is and always will be my child who was born in my heart on that day in January 2002 when we first met. The ink over my heart represents that emotional connection in a physical way for both of us.

Be sure to head over to Sunshine’s place because the party is still going on where we are all revealing the story behind our tats.

Ladies and Gentlemen, may I present to you the Class of 2020!

It’s a great day for a graduation!

So what if it is only kindergarten. It is a big, fat hairy deal here under the Big Top. Our amazing little man who once was no bigger than my hand is completing kindergarten today.

So what if he is the smallest one in the class. He is absolutely amazing and the most awesome kid in the class!

I’m not the only one who thinks so either.

Congratulations to Daniel and the rest of the Class of 2020. You are guys are now ready for life and the big, bad world!

All I Ever Really Needed to Know I Learned in Kindergarten

Most of what I really nned to know about how to live and what to do and how to be I learned in kindergarten.

Wisdom was not at the top of the graduate school mountain, but there in the sandbox of nursery school.

These are the things I learned: Share everything. Play fair. Don’t hit anyone. Wash your hands before you eat. Flush.

Warm cookies and cold milk are good for you. Live a balanced life. Learn some and think some and draw some and paint and sing and dance and play and work every day some.

Take a nap every afternoon. When you go out into the world, watch for traffic, hold hands and stick together.

Be aware of wonder. Remember the little seeds in the plastic cup. The roots go down and the plant goes up and nobody really knows how or why, but we are all like that.

Goldfish and hamsters and white mice and even the little seed in the plastic cup- they all die. So do we.

And then remember the book about Dick and Jane and the first word you learned, the biggest word of all: LOOK. Everything you need to know is in there somewhere. The Golden Rule and love and basic sanitation. Ecology and politics and sane living.

Copyright. All Rights Reserved by Robert Fulgham 1987

overheard under the Big Top this morning while Daniel and Daddy are rough-housing:

Daniel- Punch me Dad and I will run!

One year ago today I was thinking this:

Remember when you and I first met? I started an IV on you, dosed you with artificial surfactant to help expand your tiny, wet lungs, scooped your body into my left hand and tucked you into a Giraffe isolette on to your tummy.
Remember when I said out loud that I wanted to be your mommy in front of the nursing supervisor? I can’t believe I said it out loud. I am so glad that I opened my big, fat mouth.
Remember when you were drowning? That patent ductus arteriosus was flooding your tiny lungs and you were literally drowning while you were being prepped for emergency open heart surgery. You were only three weeks old, my sweet boy. I whispered prayers for you and to you as I stood over your isolette before I clocked out from work that early morning.
Remember when you FINALLY came off the ventilator? Mommy and Daddy were there ready to hear your wonderful cries and watch you breathe. Truly this was the best Easter Sunday ever for me.
Remember when you had to go back on the vent for emergency surgery just 6 days later? It was one of those moments where what I know about caring for preemies in the NICU was just too much knowledge.
Remember when you came home from the hospital 132 days after the night you were born?
Remember when your physical therapist told me to watch you fall?
Remember when it seemed like we would always be tube feeding you?
Remember when mommy realized how far you had to go just looking at you with your classmates?
Remember when mommy began to respect your sensory dysfunction down on the farm?
Remember your first real “well child” exam rather than chronically ill child exam?
I remember every moment, every single tear (yours and mine), every “what if” and every other fear or worry for you and your future. My darling boy, there is much that is still unknown for you further on down the road. Mommy hasn’t a clue where this journey will take you just as I can’t possibly predict your sisters’ futures. Our wishes, prayers, hopes and dreams for you are not unlike the ones we have for your four sisters.
Today I celebrate a truly miraculous milestone and what will become another beautiful memory….you are going to kindergarten in the fall! You have beaten so many odds, so many grim predictions. It is true that your challenges are far from over but mommy is right behind you all the way. So is daddy, Holly, Zoë, Abby, Jodie and the multitude of Fans of Daniel. My darling son, no one truly knows what their future holds for them so you are in good company and, at this moment, on a level playing field.
And (in your own words) your are GENIOUS!

A genius who seems to always have a dirty face and hands but still you are who you are.
Congratulations to my preschool graduate.

And one year later I am celebrating my kindergarten graduate as he, and the rest of the Class of 2020 gets ready for first grade. Time marches on in double time.