Adventures in Juggling

Here under the Big Top everyone is expected to pitch in. Such is life with a big family or with dual-income parents or a mother who is just plain lazy…you decide.

But seriously, since my kids were just little munchkins, they all have been expected to pitch in one way or another. I feel that each of them should be more than capable of picking up after themselves and they do. When the older ones were younger than Daniel they were just as eager as Daniel is today.

“Mommy wants me to pick up my dirty socks and put them in the laundry hamper then stack the newspapers? Mommy wants me to help set the table? Mommy is LETTING me help unload the dishwasher! Yippee-skippee!!!“

Oh, but it soon gets old though and the proof is in my nagging, er, reminding the kids that they need to clean their rooms, bathroom or pick up any mess they make including the set of dirty dishes that always seem to be in their room. Honestly I get so weary having to always tell the kids what they should do here under the Big Top. They are reasonably bright, capable young people who have lived with me all their lives. Why is it so hard for them to understand that I don’t like wet towels piled on the bathroom floor, or toothpaste in the sink or dirty dishes piled on the kitchen counters when the dishwasher is but two feet away? Days like that I almost actually wish for them to regress back to ages 4-6 when they were eager to lend a hand for their mommy…almost!

But today, I stumbled upon a new way to get them to WANT to help out around the house. I don’t even have to ask because they all want to help…as long as they get to use this

I know, I know. Soon enough the shiny, red, new vacuum cleaner will lose its attractive glow and that new vacuum cleaner smell and they will no longer be stumbling over one another to help mom out. I guess then I will just have to buy another new vacuum cleaner. This could get very expensive.

Besides chore lists, allowances, rewards, nagging, yelling, et. al. how do you get your kids to help out around the house?

Boys and girls this screen display on the family home computer monitor is why I selfishly refuse to allow my circus clowns to use my laptop…ever.

The home improvement frenzy continues here under the Big Top. The last project turned out so well that I was inspired to press on. Of course, taking the last two weeks off from work gave me the time (and the energy).

A long, long time ago, in a land far, far away, Bill and I set up house in our first apartment which was tastefully decorated in an early American hand-me-down and milk crate/cinder block decor. Among the hand me downs that we acquired was a well used, square cocktail table from a living room set that belonged to Bill’s parents. At first glance, it wasn’t much to look at. It was just another old table…older than we were. But wait! Closer inspection revealed that this was a solid, well built piece of furniture. This was not your average sawdust and pressboard piece. It truly was a diamond in the rough. So as our circus grew and we (very slowly) replaced the hand-me-downs, milk crates and cinder blocks for real furniture, we hung on to our old treasure with the plan to restore it to what it once was. Over the years, each of our clowns left their mark on this piece

and by the time I finally decided to get to get the courage and ambition to work on it the table appeared to be more like trash than treasure.

But with a little patience I got not only a old/new treasure but a great arm workout.

It’s the perfect addition to my new sitting room furniture.

It’s even more of a one-of-a-kind, priceless treasure because I did leave my children’s art intact on the underside of the table.

A bulletin posted last night from one of my circus clowns’ MySpace

no milk

for cereal

UGH what am I going to do.

Starve I guess

:[

And now here is the visual to get the darling clown’s point across.

This visual was taken just two days post-Costco run.

At least some of my clowns aren’t going to starve.

Before anyone calls CPS, rest assured that I am going to go buy some milk.

Don’t blink.

Happy Birthday Holly-Bear!

Welcome to a very special edition of Carnival of Family Life!

It’s a special time here under the Big Top. Naturally the holidays are a big part of all that but also this week we are celebrating a milestone. Twenty-one years ago today I was 41 weeks pregnant, 100% effaced and dilated 4 centimeters but not contracting at all. Needless to say I was wondering why the heck this crazy kid wouldn’t come out. Even back then, Miss Holly Austa had a mind of her own and it certainly didn’t agree with my plans. Miss Holly Austa decided to make her grand entrance two days later after a little bit of encouragement from my obstetrician. I was fortunate enough to have a very easy labor and delivery of a baby who took to breastfeeding without a hitch and who pretty much followed the What To Expect series on baby care chapter and verse. Because of that, I actually thought I knew what I was doing. Man, I had this mommy thing dow-ownnn! Who needed the advice of those who have come before me.

And then I brought my darling daughter home from the hospital and had to feed her, bathe her, rock her to sleep, play with her, feed her, discipline her, potty train her. It got even harder as she learned to walk and talk. Two decades later, I find myself still trying to figure this mommy thing out. I sometimes poke fun at the parenting wisdom my future grandchild’s mama offers but only because I remember how much I thought I knew when I first brought her home from the hospital. If I had only listened to some of the advice offered to me way back then.

In honor of Holly’s twenty-first birthday and her impending motherhood, I offer this Carnival chock full of great parenting advice, encouragement and admonitions for now and for later from the very best of mommy and daddy bloggers.

Helene Zemel presents The Family That Plays Together Stays Together.

Nina Smith presents Stepping Off Infertility Treadmill: Lesbians Consider Adoption where we learn that the decision to become a parent isn’t always so easy. Sometimes we experience disappointment, frustration and pain.

Jennifer offeres insights and advice on teaching our children about money in What Will We Teach Your Child About Money? This a big challenge especially in the day where so many of our children’s peers (and our children as well) are so good at spending money…their parents money, that is.

Suzanne offers up some advice for dealing with Seborrheic Dermatitis aka Cradle Cap. My own advice to Holly would be please check with your pediatrician before using any of these preparations on your newborn’s scalp.

Karen Patrick offers a cute, cute, cute gift idea for parents of little babies in The Pitter Patter of Little Feet.

While it is Holly’s job right now to grow out of her cute, little size 1 skinny jeans, I imagine she will be anxious to get back to her pre-pregancy size soon after the baby is born…I know that I was/am! So with that in mind, Sagar presents Negative Calories: 15 Foods That Actually Burn More Calories Than They Contain.

Rose advises, “We have to make sure we are not substituting medication for interaction with our children.” in How to Properly Drug Your Preschooler…What Will They Think of Next?

Henry Cate provides an update on their experience with doing foster care, and wonders how effective is it really in The Ambulance in the Valley.

Madeline Begun Kane offers a little humor in how to deal with a loud, boisterous child in One of These Days I’ll Actually Say This.

Batya offers some holiday fun for the whole family in New Version of Potato Latkes.

Because pretty much all brand new parents hope to not make the same mistakes their parents might have made, Changeyourtree offers some insight in Is Your Family Tree Being Poisoned?

It has been said in the world of theater one should never work with children or animals and it would seem to be true according to Seabird’s account of Sheep In Need of A Shepherd.

Grrlscientist presents The Gift of Giving where she discovers that surprisingly, gift-giving often provides more benefits for the giver that the recipient.

Because sleep deprivation is often the reality for most parents, Tupelo Kenyon offers Consciously Programming Your Subconscious Mind Before Sleep to help us all.

Before Holly begins to prepare the nursery and baby layette wish list, Four Pillars offers Buy Buy Baby- book review that discusses the idea that expensive “educational” toys are anything but.

Jenny asks Do You Remember Barbies and shares her wishes of sharing them with her baby someday. Alas, Holly did not hang on to any of her Barbies should she wish to share with her own baby, be it a girl or a boy.

Amanda offers up some help with baby names with Unique Baby Names. Of course Holly and I have discussed this one a bit.

In The Biggest Loser, WhatWorksForUs actually is seeking her own advice on board games.

The best way to learn how to talk to your kids is probably to start at the very beginning. Warren Wong offers his own advice in Conversation Skills/Tips: How to Have a Good Conversation.

MomG tackles the tough question of how teach a toddler the concept of life and death in Why Do Roses Die?

While much of the United States is shivering and digging out of massive amounts of ice and snow, Grace has to reminds u that In This Part of the World, We Don’t Shiver.

Meanwhile, back in the part of the world that is shivering, Summer offers up a fun winter craft idea in It’s Snowing Inside Too!

MlnTheGap presents a question that deals with gratitude and graciousness during the holidays in What Do You Do With A Gift That You Don’t Want?

Head lice! Ugh! They haven’t showed up here under the Big Top…yet! But if they did Aparna offers home remedies for dealing with those little buggers in Beauty and Personal Grooming: Get Rid of Head Lice With These Home Remedies.

A child’s first teacher is his or her parent. Abel Cheng offers some advice for young parents in Toddler Games and Activities to Teach Your Child Science and Nature.

Carol Holder steps up on her parenting soap box and makes what might seem to some to be an unpopular choice for her daughter in Is Makeup Harmless? But she is the mom, so she gets to decide what is best for her young daughter, even if it might seem hardcore to some. It would seem that she made the right choice.

Louise Manning offers up a list of Famous and Infamous RedHeads that I read with great interest as a redhead myself. I don’t see my name on that list but, perhaps, someday my grandchild might be on that list. I’m just saying it could happen.

I’m actually done with my holiday shopping but Veteran Military Wife offers up some fresh gift ideas in Running Out of Gift Ideas?

HistoryIsElementary offers up Two Very Different Homecomings for Thanksgiving which considers the joy and the sorrow of two grown children in her life and their different homecomings.

Like most first time expectant parents, Holly is on a very tight budget so Pinyo Bhulipongsanon’s advice for Ten Preparing for Baby Tips for the Frugal-Minded is timely advice.

While experts (and this 1962-born child) might disagree on the actual time frame of the Baby Boomer Generation it is true that this generation is the true Transition Generation. Cathy presents The Transition Generation 1946-1964. Perhaps I might have something in common with Boomers once this grandbaby arrives.

Terri Mauro presents The Ransom Notes and Disability Metaphors which gives a picture of how mentally disabled children are trapped in their disability.

Lynnae reminds us that Your Children Are Watching What You Are Teaching even when it comes to our personal finances.

Jaimie reminds us again that what your child wants and what you think is right is sometimes a tightrope walk in When Your Child Loves It But You Do Not.

PaidTwice reminds us that sometimes the best way to deal with temptation is to avoid it altogether in Avoid Target At All Costs.

Kevin Heath offers up the Best Websites for Kids.

As parents we sometimes get hung up on what we got done today rather than the work we do everyday caring for and bringing up our children. Thankfully, SingForHim reminds us of all that we do everyday in What Did You Get Done Today.

Just when one comes to the conclusion that there is no Christmas Spirit out in the world, Kyle James finds it in Walmart in Christmas Brings Out the Best in People, Even at Walmart.

Anmol Mehta reminds us all that our own good nutrition is the very best way to make a baby in How To Make a Baby the Right Way- Ayurvedic Diet and Nutrition.

HowToMe offers up a cute kid-friendly craft idea in How To Make Lacing Cards, for Free.

Who knew that batteries are not included in snow globes? Renae is pondering the same question in Searching For Snow Globes.

With colds and flu season upon us all, Zamejias offers up and idea of what to do with those empty tissue boxes in Recycle Tissue Box.

And the crafts and holiday gift ideas keep on coming thanks to Summer who shares her Pretty Pretties with us all.

Miscellaneous Mum shares a bit of home improvement in Calling Mars to Be Our New Home.

Just in case you need some more family-friendly holiday craft ideas, Karen-Thrifty Mommy has some cute Christmas Ornament Ideas to share.

Because it is the season north of the equator, Dawn shares a Snow Day with us all.

Super Saver shares Wealth Building- A Family Project with us.

Alexander Marlin offers up some great advice in 11 Tips to Get Anything You Want. Hint: you have to do some work!

Years ago, we discovered that our daughter, Zoë, had significant hearing loss. It proved to be temporary and treatable. Still it was a big shock to us especially when we realized her behavior and reaction to some things was because she could not hear low tones. Eric Ellen offers some great advice that all young parents should consider in How to Check Your Child’s Hearing in Two Easy Steps. I can’t stress enough how important early detection and intervention is to your child’s growth and development.

Dana is sharing a little bit of Toilet Talk and I have to say that I am just a little bit jealous while I am still trying to convince my Little Man that he can poop in the potty and live to tell the tale.

Meanwhile, this Dana, is sharing her view in Home Affects School. While some of her insight might give my daughter, a single mom (not by choice) pause, I want to assure her again that she and her baby will always be surrounded by a large family circus that will continue to nurture, love and support them both.

We still have some more Christmas craft ideas to share thanks to Stephanie in A Christmas Craft for Preschoolers.

Meanwhile, this Stephanie offers up some frugal ideas for the 2008 Holiday Season in Thinking About the Day After Christmas.

The Frugal Duchess shares the frugal creativity of her daughter in Looking for Sea Cows: My Daughter’s Frugal Play Date.

At last, but certainly not least, Awesome Mom shares the joys of enjoying the fruits of nature with her family in Preserving and Persevering.
This concludes this edition and my maiden hosting of the Carnival of Family Life. Thank you everyone for sharing so much family-minded wisdom, advice and encourgement with us all. Next week’s host will be JHS, the carnival’s awesome moderator, at Colloquium.

Mom: Who left this mess?

Any child of mine: Nobody, mom.

Mom: Who “borrowed” my ___(insert anything that belongs to mom)___ and did not return it?

Any child of mine: Nobody, mom.

Mom: Who turned the thermostat up to 80° (in the winter)?

Any child of mine: Nobody, mom.

Mom: Who turned down the thermostat to 60° (in the summer)?

Any child of mine: Nobody, mom.

Mom: Who left all these dvd’s out rather than put them away in their case so they won’t get scratched?

Any child of mine (while watching a dvd ont.v.) : Nobody, mom.

Mom: Who has the phone?

Any child of mine: Nobody, mom.

Mom: Who put this empty milk container (or any food container including a soda can) in the refrigerator?

Any child of mine: Nobody, mom.

Mom: Who left this load of clothes in the washer?

Any child of mine: Nobody, mom.

Mom: Who left this trail of toilet paper on the floor leading from the upstairs bathroom?

Any child of mine: Nobody, mom.

Mom: (after getting off the phone with my optician) Who took the 4 messages from Central Valley Eye about the problem with the eyeglasses I ordered two months ago and have been anxiously waiting for since I can’t see out of these old glasses?

Any child of mine: (with a heavy, irritated sigh and dramatic eyeroll that says mom is so annoying): Nobody, mom.

I am so glad that nobody is my child! He or she seems to do everything around here. The bonus is no one can report me to CPS when I strangle Nobody out of sheer frustration over their behavior.

John Scalzi writes:

Your Monday Photo Shoot: Give us a picture of many things alike — and one thing not. If you’re of a certain age (i.e., my age), you’ll remember the song from Sesame Street that went “one of these things is not like the others…” This is a picture version of that. Could be as simple as three cups and a dish, or six cars and a bicycle, or a bunch of young kids with on elderly person. You get the idea. Get that picture of things that are alike and a thing that is not.

I’ll go with the obvious here under the Big Top. Here are my circus clowns. True, they all look so much alike but they are so very different from each other.

Let’s see…

Holly has tattoos and Zoë, Abby, Jodie and Daniel do not.

Zoë has those amazing curls and Holly, Abby, Jodie and Daniel do not. Technically Abby has curly hair but she faithfully straightens it. It’s a lot of work but she would rather chew ground glass than let anyone outside of this family circus see her ringlets.

Jodie is the blonde one although this picture doesn’t do her sunshiny hair justice. She does stand out in this group of clowns though.

But the most obvious difference is that boy of mine surrounded by all those girls. It isn’t easy for a little boy growing up in an estrogen environment but the little man manages just fine. It isn’t easy raising a boy after raising four girls. Trust me, they are very different from one another. Still there are many benefits all around.

Each one of them at times feels like the odd one in the group. They mostly celebrate their differences because different is good. I guess it is because they are the children of the odd one in the family.

Have you ever noticed how mommies often end up doing a lot of dirty work? Okay, I will say that my husband has been right there in the trenches when it came to poopies in the diapers, in the tub and even on the walls. He has reached out to catch his fair share of baby barf too. Still, using the snot sucker made him nauseous and he almost passed out the one time he had to turn the key to Holly’s palate expander. It just seems that if it is a dirty, distasteful and even painful job that needs to be done for one of my circus clowns, Mommy~Dearest is the man, er, mom!

Today’s dirty job was a new one even for me. We learned today that Holly is a carrier for the cystic fibrosis gene and her doctor recommended that the baby’s father be tested for the gene as well. The results will determine what if any testing might need to be done for baby’s health.

No problem.

Oh, wait, problem. Father of baby was less than thrilled with Holly’s news a couple of months ago. Actually, he was quite angry because her choice was not the choice he wanted her to choose and since he really didn’t have a choice in Holly’s choice he chose to leave. That’s his choice I guess. But regardless of his choice, Holly and her mid-wife need to know if he is a carrier or not. I think I saw Holly turn even greener than her usual color of late when the mid-wife discussed this with her. Me, being the good prenatal support person stepped up and explained that right now the father has chosen not to be involved and it might be hard for Holly to talk to him about this. The good mid-wife looked me in the eye and suggested that I be the one to tell the guy and get him to a lab to be tested.

Um, okay.

So I called the guy up, explained what I needed and explained that I wouldn’t bother him unless it was important and it was that important. His angry eyes bored into me as he questioned the need to have this done. I evenly explained what the disease was and how it would affect the baby, Holly’s baby, his baby. I added that all I wanted from him was a little bit of his blood. I would even pay for the test because it is that important. I stared right back at him waiting for his answer. Angry eyes don’t scare me when it comes to one of my children. He looked down at his feet, shrugged and agreed as he grabbed the lab slip out of my hand.

That was that.

It’s a dirty job and, oh yeah, Mommy~Dearest did it.

Okay, okay, kids, I get it! It’s so cold this morning that even the toys have to bundle up. I’ll turn on the heat. Happy now?