bring it on

Call me crazy but I can’t wait for the real cool, crisp-ness of Fall and Winter to come this way here in the Central Valley. Yes, that means the fog and the wind and the rain (that we so desperately need). But I am ready. I have boots and turtleneck sweaters that I want/need to wear. So today I say bring it on.

In two or three months, I’m sure I’ll be saying something else. Then you may remind me of today’s post.

I should be crying

There are some days as a parent where you wonder if all the good you try to teach your children is really sinking in. I mean, how many heavy sighs or eyerolls can one really take? Then you catch them being good, being kind and you can’t help but to marvel over it all. It’s an amazing feeling when you get to witness your child working so hard and giving her all for the good of someone else. You find yourself so proud, so happy, so ready to cry and so willing to forget that teen-aged snark you put up with earlier in the day. This was one of those moments.

I’m very proud of you Jodie!

Brava to my favorite Dance Stars!

Yes, I do believe that this messed with the wrong mom!

watching forever

I swear I could watch my Jodie dance forever and never get tired. She has so much energy, so much joy, so much grace, so much strength, so much emotion all in that size zero frame of hers. Tonight she and the rest of her competition team will be dancing as a surprise at a local breast cancer fundraiser. They are dancing in honor of one of a friend of the dance moms, who is battling breast cancer, to “A Woman’s Work”. While the choreography will be their own, I have no doubt their performance tonight will have an impact no less than this dance, choreographed by Tyce Diorio, had on last season’s So You Think You Can Dance.

Good luck to my Dance Star and all the other Dance Stars.

from Shredhead to Pumpkinhead

Being the devoted Shredhead that I am I have wholeheartedly embraced and accepted this month’s challenge. I’m still running, sort of so I have signed on to the running challenge this month to keep me motivated and attempt to ramp up my training for the Tiarathon that we running Shredheads are looking forward to.

I won’t lie to you, my running has been sluggish lately. Oh, who am I kidding? I have been walking more than running the last couple of weeks. I have tried to push myself only to find that I just would not go and my running has become more walking. I was seriously considering starting the Couch to 5K training program all over again.

But being the finish what you start kind of girl that I am, I showed up early this morning at the Manteca Unified Student Trust’s 5K Pumpkin Run. I had to. I had already paid the fees. I wanted the t-shirt and my fellow future Tiara-wearing Shredhead Karianna sent me some awesome motivation. With her cheering me on and motivating me, how could I not at least show up and try? I had to. Plus I wanted that t-shirt.

So I prepped myself yesterday, getting well-hydrated and stretched. I laid out my running clothes for the morning. And I picked up a little personal motivator.

2GB of motivating goodness that clipped to my jogging bra with an awesome running kind of playlist to keep me moving. As much as I love my iTouch, I found it hard to run with it and I just can’t seem to run at a steady pace without a hard-driving soundtrack to keep me moving along. I doubted that this would make me run faster and longer but anything to motivate me more.

So I showed up at the Tidewater Bikeway and signed in, picked up my running bib and began to stretch out, warm up and get myself ready. The weather seemed just right for a run. The other runners were friendly and encouraging as we all lined up. Listening to the race instructions I am encouraged to hear that along the way are race volunteers to cheer us on and, if needed, come to our aid as well as water stations. Water stations, I believe are my friend when running. Have you ever tried running while you are having hot flashes? Try it sometime. You will see what I mean when I say water stations are my friend when I am running.

As promised, the course was flat and fast as we got off to a pretty fast start. After the first quarter mile, I settled into a nice easy pace letting it seemed everyone pass me by. Well, not everyone but it sure seemed that way. It was all good because I was determined to run this race rather than run and walk. Jai Ho was playing in my ears and I found it so easy to keep going at the pace I set for myself.

As I approached the halfway point and turn-around, I could feel my body begin to thirst. Where the heck is the water stations?! I saw no water stations. I saw a lot of football players from the high school team my kids’ high school football team beat last night sucking down Gatorade while they watched us run by but I did not see any water stations.

As I began to worry how much farther I could run without a sip or two, the wind kicked up gusting hard in my face. There is nothing like the feeling of running against the wind. I was definitely feeling like I was going nowhere fast and at the 2 mile mark I indeed was going nowhere fast. My whole right side just cramped up and I could not go.

I. Just. Could. Not. Go.

But just as I could feel myself not move a lady I met at the start line came up behind me and cheered me on to keep on moving. She talked and cheered me through the next half mile as I started running again. We bitched together about the wind, the Gatorade-drinking high school football players and how much we wanted to take their sports drinks away from them and the apparently invisible water stations.

The mile 3 marker loomed ahead and cheered on by my favorite Manteca P.D. officer, Bill-the-cop, I felt a surge of adrenaline. Yes, I was dying of thirst. Yes, my right side was screaming in it’s knotted cramp for water. Yes, I was a red-faced, hot flashing, sweaty mess but I kicked up the pace. I crossed the finish line at the unofficial time of 33:05, three seconds slower than my first 5K time but I did it! I ran. I ran into the wind. I ran and pushed through my thirst and cramping. I did it!

Official Race Times were posted in this morning’s paper and my time is 32:26!!!

The takeaway from this race? I am bringing my own water. I going to keep on training and running for sure focusing on an easy pace and going for the distance. I am not going tto let any setback in training psych myself out for the next race next month that I will be running with my local Shredhead bud and friend, Jenn and her folks. Oh my gawd, you should see what shredding is doing for Jenn. She is absolutely freakin’ hot!

So today I was a running Pumpkinhead. Does that mean that next month Jenn and I will be running Salmonheads at the Salmon Run? We shall see. But it is certain that we will be running!

found hope

Despair. It seems to be everywhere and even more contagious than the H1N1 virus. It sucks that everyone has so much crap just bringing them down these days, you know? I mean, how can I enjoy a good whining session when everyone else is dealing with crap of their own?

Yeah I’m wallowing a little lately.

Kids are sick. One kid apparently “had” mono in the past but doesn’t have it now and where was I when she had mono? Of course now it is probably just a virus and we need to ride it out. Awesome, thanks, Doc! In the meantime, tylenol and motrin is our friend.

My training for upcoming 5Ks, 10K and then the half marathon is a bit off. Of course I try to push all the harder and then do nothing…no-thing and then train all the harder.

Hubs remains on vacation unemployed and dragging out and on since …good Lord, Holly was pregnant when he was last working a steady, real job with a steady, real paycheck. I ask…yes, I dared to ask if he had called the union hall lately to check his status on the out of work list and he grunts and shrugs. I know I should be grateful that he didn’t scratch too. But that wasn’t enough for me. Call me bitchy but I had to wonder OUT LOUD a little more about this vacation out of work status of his.

I know, I should just shut up and pick up the slack, work more hours and bring home the bacon. Unfortunately (and fortunately for others) patient census has been low and has remained low for a number of months now. I hear it is not exclusive to our unit and our area either. Are birth rates falling because so many people out there are out of work and losing their homes, etc; or are we doing such a fantastic job in the world of perinatal medicine that birth rates of sick and premature infants are dropping off? I’m thinking it’s the times, the economy. I know I wouldn’t want to have a baby right now the way things are…oh, wait. I’m dealing with early menopause right now. Me, pregnant? HA!

Yeah, I’m wallowing. Perhaps I’m wallowing just a little too much. Out walking along the Tidewater Bikeway today I found myself wallowing just a little bit more. Alone on the trail and alone in my thoughts it is pretty easy to get carried away like that and I did.

And then I saw it along side the trail of the path…

Just a little bit of hope.

It won’t solve all of my problems, real or overwrought, right now. But I needed this. I REALLY needed this right now. I picked it up and put it in my pocket. The power of that one smooth little stone seemed to make my step a little lighter, a little faster. I actually found myself smiling…just a little, but I was smiling. I saw another little piece of hope further up the trail. I left it though because in times like these, I imagine that there is someone else out there who could use just a little bit of hope to get them through another day. To whomever left a little hope along the Tidewater Bikeway, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. It is exactly what I needed right now today.

seasonal sign

Nursing: where you reach out and touch someone…with gloves, gown and N95 respirator on.

It’s not coming. It’s here. Is it really serious or is it much ado over nothing? Only time will tell. But given there have been a number of cases in my neck of the woods, a couple confirmed deaths including a healthy woman who just given birth and just a ways north of me the death of a healthy nurse who regularly ran marathons, I’m going to be taking the necessary precautions for my self, my family and the sake of my vulnerable, fragile patients.

inspiring responsibility

Labor Day was a relaxing day here under the Big Top. Our boys spent the day fishing on the Delta with friends while the girls basically relaxed the day away at home. Normally I am working because I consider it to be kind of poetically perfect to be catching babies on Labor Day but I had the day/night off. Instead, I had a chance to do a little service to our community with Jodie, her dance coach and other members of her dance team.

Jodie got up at 4 in the morning to meet with her dance team and load up, unroll and set up over a hundred American Flags that lined up and down Center Street for the Flags Over Manteca project. I joined the group twelve hours later to roll up each flag, gather them all and stack them up for storage until the next scheduled display.

What fun it was! We shared laughs, waved to passing cars as they honked and waved at us and later enjoyed a well-earned treat at Yogofina….LOVE Yogofina!

For Jodie and her two team mates, it was a lot of fun and there is nothing wrong with that. It was also an opportunity for them to see that serving their community can be a lot of fun. Definitely nothing wrong with that!

I can’t begin to share how much I appreciate all that Jodie’s coach and teacher, Harmony and her fiance, Paul, do to inspire Jodie and the rest of the kids they work with.  Harmony and Paul are pretty much kids themselves, just in their twenties yet they model the kind of positive people any parent would be proud for their own children to become. They both are hard-working people who have built together a successful business. But they don’t stop there. They volunteer their talents and precious time with local charities and community groups that benefit under-privileged young people in the area like the Boys and Girls Club and Give Every Child A Chance as well as regular participants in the Flags Over Manteca Project. They are two young people who have chosen to give back and build up their hometown in such a way that more young people will hopefully be inspired to realize their own gifts, talents and dreams and hopefully give back to those around them. In a modern society that has evolved into a group of well-insulated individuals who can choose to have little interaction with one another and who often refuse to take responsibility for their community, their friends, their families,  and their own selves, the influence of these two is commendable. I am so grateful for their influence and inspiration. It models and supports what Bill and I try to teach all of our children. How fortunate we are to have them touch our lives the way that they do!

We all need to be inspired more like this. Our children need to be inspired more like this.

I just finished reading the text of President Obama’s Back to School Remarks directed to the school children of our nation. Of course much has been discussed, torn apart, dissected and predicted about this planned address. Even before the text was released to the over wrought public, I felt that most of us were expending so much useless energy over something pretty benign. Although our children did not have the opportunity to choose Mr. Obama as their President (and yes, he is their President too), why shouldn’t they enjoy the opportunity to hear him speak directly to them? Reading through the text a reasonably intelligent person can determine that this isn’t an evil Pied Piper ready to beguile and lead our children to a path of their own destruction. Far from it. This is a public figure challenging and encouraging school children to work hard, accept their own responsibility to do the best that they can in school. Would we object if someone like Tiger Woods or Eli Manning or Beyonce addressed the American young people in the same way? Would we wring our hands over the thought that they were being brainwashed? I doubt it.

The way I see it is there can’t be too many heroes in our children’s lives and there can’t be too many times where our children and we are challenged to do our very best and to take responsibility for ourselves, our community, our nation, our planet.

Mr. Obama is not the acceptable hero for your child in your opinion? Fine. Instead of regarding this as something to fear and to shield your child from look at it as a teachable moment. READ the speech. Go over it with your child and discuss it with them. Share your point of view, your beliefs and your values about your child’s education. Take this opportunity to continue to teach and inspire your child to be an informed individual who can study the issues and make their own logical, moral choices.

from the amazingly awesome to the so-so to the meh!

Videos! I have videos!

First Dave Matthews Band. It goes without saying that the concert was great. I was a little worried when Dave came out to introduce Jason Mraz and could scarcely speak. I blame San Francisco for that because, well, why not? Perhaps the Bay air did him in just a little. But, as this video proves, he did quite well in spite of laryngitis.

No, this is not my video which means it was not our view. But we did have a pretty good view ourselves.

Next up, because some of you asked for it, the whole Manteca Idol experience. Remember, some of you asked for it…

The rules were explicit that no contestants may post videos of performances online but since I was eliminated last night I will share my final moment of awkward for y’all to, well, watch.

Manteca Idol was a fun experience but when I considered what I was up against…talent…I can say that it was fun to be a semi-finalist. Good luck to the lucky thirteen and here’s to a successful fundraiser for the Boys and Girls Club.

the next time you ever take the stage to sing a song…

Remember to go potty first! I’m just saying that if you don’t, as soon as you take the stage and grab a hold of that microphone, that will be all that you can think about. Of course that will mean that you will flub the words of the chorus and fail to soar over those high notes like you did in rehearsal.

Can I say that I was nervous?

I was nervous.

Most of the competitors were just kids and kids that can just belt out a number without even flinching then skip off the stage and out to the playground. In all seriousness, I was awed by the raw talent and try to imagine these kids in a few years. I can say I knew them when.

Last night was my semi-final round for the local Boys and Girls Club’s fundraiser, Manteca Idol. Yes, I was nervous but I have to say it was a lot of fun. My family showed up and cheered me on. My girl, Jenn came with her adorable kids and my new friend, Coley. And my running shoe hook-up, twitter babe MsV came as well to cheer me on. She’s right, it was awkward introducing her but not because of Twitter but because I only know her as MsV. What the heck is your name lady, really? I feel like a school girl calling you MsV. Nevertheless, it was so cool to have so many folks who actually seemed happy to hear me sing.

It’s not like I have a terrible voice. I like to imagine in my little world, known as the Big Top, that I have a great voice. I do. I have been singing ever since I could walk and talk and stand next to my Grandpa strumming his guitar and singing old Hank Williams songs or next to my Grandma in the kitchen singing good ol’ Gospel hymns. I can belt out “Your Cheatin’ Heart” and “How Great Thou Art” with the best of them thanks to my mom’s parents. I sang in choirs all through elementary school and on into high school where I received, in my opinion some of the best musical education ever (THANKS Mrs. Remaly and Mr. Morgan). With Bill’s encouragement, I got the courage to audition for and get solos in little church musicals and then on to small group ensembles. I loved it. LOVED it. Then I came to realize as the back-up singer in these small group ensembles that it was all about the lead singer…even in church where the worship minister (in my case, twice, the lead singer) preached on that when we perform it’s not all about you, it’s all about God. I agree completely with that thought in a church setting. That’s how it should be. But when you find out that the lead singer/worship minister instructs the sound guy to turn your mic off in the house it kind of gets to you. It hurts your feelings…even if it is supposed to be all about God. It tears down any confidence you may have in the voice that the good Lord has given you. I know it did for me, which is why I stopped singing in church 7 years ago.

:::waving to my audience:::

That is me. That is who I am.

I love to sing. I sing all the time. Just ask my kids. I was so excited to be a part of Idol and looked forward to taking the stage. But I was scared to death too. I mean, am I really good enough…good enough to not stand in the background, doing back-up with the mic turned off in the house? We shall see. I didn’t make it in the top three who go straight on to the finals starting September 9 but I do get another chance in the wild card round this September 2 and THIS time I will rememeber to go potty before I take the stage!

Meanwhile, before anyone asks, Manteca Idol rules are very clear that one may not post any videos of their performances on places like MySpace, Facebook or YouTube because of copywrite laws and the fact that they represent a non-profit organization. Because of that, well, no videos…except I do have access to a grainy, shaky video taken by Jodie of her mama doing the pee-pee dance, flubbing some lyrics and top notes and singing her heart out. If you do want to see such a display you have to leave a comment with an email so I can hook you up.

zing zang zoom bullets

As I posted earlier this month, part of myt family had the opportunity to attend the opening of Ringling Brothers Barnum and Bailey Zing Zang Zoom Circus at the Oracle Arena in Oakland thanks to MomCentral and Feld Entertainment. Yes we received our tickets in exchange for my promoting this event here, but I have to say given how much fun we had attending Ringling Brothers Barnum and Bailey Over the Top Circus last year, I would have gladly paid for the tickets because what else can a family of four do for $44 these days…go to Disneyland?…attend a Giants or A’s game?…dinner at ::::shudder:::: Chuck E Cheese? Still I am thankful for this opportunity and the wonderful reception we received from everyone. If you live in Northern California it is not too late to take advantage of this great family fun offer. I hope you do and I hope that you will have as much fun and make as many great memories as we did again at the circus.

• The best way to guarantee that you will feel exceptionally large is to pose in a picture between two young ladies who are dancers and who happen to be size zero.

• Still looking at this picture, when I block out the tiny dancers, I am thrilled with how I look today. The Shredhead movement rocks!
• Another thought comes to mind when I look at this picture, look at the smile on Daniel’s face. Look at it! It’s priceless.
• Before the show, we had the opportunity to meet some of the cast members of Zing Zang Zoom, including the Zingmaster, Alex Ramos. When he introduced himself, Alex pointed out that he grew up in Richmond, California so he was so excited to come home and perform. He also shared that just a little more than a year ago, he was performing as a magician at kids’ birthday parties so this was truly a dream come true for him. I couldn’t help but feel proud of this local boy.

• Daniel asked Alex, the Zingmaster, for his autograph and it was so sweet to see how genuinely surprised and honored he was as he signed Daniel’s hat.
• Speaking of that hat, it made the rounds at our table.

• Bill really looked the part when he put the hat on

• We had such a wonderful, magical good time. Don’t believe me? Well, check out this picture:

• Between every act, little man would look back at me with that big, wide, happy smile on his face. Oh yeah, it was indeed a magical, awesome night!

• You can see more Zing Zang Zoom here.