even educated fleas do it…

…and it would follow that if they do then moms must do it too. Well, wouldn’t it? I mean, where would we all be were it not for our moms doing it? Right?

I know, I know….I have now created a visual forever burned into your mind that compels you to now stare at the sun for several hours. I’m there with you staring at that sun. But we can’t escape the fact that, yes, moms do it….moms….OMG!….moms have sex! Thank goodness for you that your mom did have sex. And here is where I first apologize to my own children but then remind them that it is a very good thing for them that their own mom did too. After all, where would I be without my amazing circus act that I am partly responsible for creating?

Okay kids, go outside and stare at the sun. Mommy is so very sorry for traumatizing you this way. Someday, I promise, you will understand…or at least be able to distract yourself from this truth…mostlikely by having sex…when you are an adult!

My friend…and yes, I can call her a friend because we have sweated, did plank jacks and  lost weight together… thinks enough of me to GIVE me a t-shirt out of the goodness of her heart that celebrates this truth that moms like, actually love sex…Kristen Chase of Motherhood Uncensored and  the Shredheads has this amazing column where she offers up some practical sex advice for parents because, parents do have sex even after they have kids.

It’s okay boys and girls. It’s good…very good for mommy and daddy and (trust me) it is good for you too.  I think that is the point  of the Mominatrix. We are definitely moms  and we LOVE, LOVE, LOVE being moms. But in order to be healthy, happy people, women, moms we need sex in our lives too. Kristen’s sex column and now her book, The Mominatrix’s Guide to Sex, promises to help us moms “get back what’s rightfully yours. No harsh judgments, boring commentary, or embarrassing exercises. Just a frank, funny discussion about sex after kids for new moms and seasoned veterans. From the nitty gritty on pregnancy and post-partum sex to spicing things up when the flame starts to burn out, even a chapter that’s just for the dads, the Mominatrix takes on everything you need to know or want to ask.“

So when the Mominatrix gives you a super comfy, yet sexy t-shirt and tells you to put it on and take a picture you do and you find yourself just a little bit turned on because it was the Mominatrix who asked you to do it. Since my baby-making days are long gone, I am thinking that I am one of the “seasoned veterans” that she is talking about. Thanks, Kristen.

She’s coming…she’s coming January 18, 2010 but you can pre-order now.

I can’t wait!

and speaking of reading…

I’m not the only mom under the Big Top who reads to her baby. Actually Holly has been reading to Hazel even before she was born. And now Hazel enjoys “reading” her books herself…out loud in her own special language, Toddlerese.

his selection

I love to read. Always have, always will.

Over the years with each of my children I have read to them since they were tiny babies in my arms. Some would scoff at doing such a thing. I mean, how much really does a 2 month old understand “I love You Forever” some might question? Regardless I still would read to my babies all the time and as they grew 4 of them grew to love books so much that I would catch them reading in their beds in the wee small hours on a school night. While I wanted them to have a good night’s sleep part of me understood their need. I was and am the same way. It made me all warm and happy inside knowing that my girls loved books and loved to read as much as me.

But Daniel, well Daniel is different. As an infant he was my captive audience curled in my arms while I read to him. As he grew, I am not ashamed to admit that sometimes I took advantage of his being tethered to his kangaroo pump and tube feedings to read to him. But then as a mobile, active preschooler he seemed to want nothing to do with books or mommy reading him a story. If the story wasn’t a part of computer animated graphics, he wanted nothing to do with it. As he started school he struggled. Reading high frequecy word lists, easy readers sent home in his weekly homework packets and the massive library of family favorites here under the Big Top just did not appeal to him and it showed as we pressed on in spite of the protests, tears and frustrations. It was a small victory last year when his education team saw what we saw and agreed repeating the first grade was in his best interest. His successes so far into this new school year prove to us all, especially to Daniel, that this was the right thing to do.

Still the reading has been challenging. Good intentions to read more during the summer fell by the wayside. But then again, few selections in the family library appealed to him. He would sit with me every night to do the required reading time but he still struggled recognizing and recalling the expected high frequency words. He has been trying but it has remained a struggle. And then one day while roaming through the book section at Target a light bulb went on in  my head.  Sponge Bob Square Pants easy readers….Scooby Doo…Star Wars…and more. No, they are not classic, award-winning children’s literature treasured by generations but…Daniel LOVES them. He wants to read them with me over and over and over again AND he is recognizing and reading out loud parts of the books we read together. The cherry on top is HE is reminded me that we need to read tonight.

It is a simple enough solution which is why it probably took me so freaking long to realize it. The family library is growing and my boy is falling in freakin’ love with books! Life is good!

not your sainted mother

Ahhhh Mother’s Day! Filled with hearts and flowers and expressions of love and admiration for all the awesome, amazing, wonderful mothers everywhere. It is a well-deserved day of recognition for mothers everywhere as well as a great way to stimulate the economy with cards, candy, flowers, perfume, jewelry, brunch at a fine restaurant…All mothers love, love, love these things even if they protest to the contrary. Still all the consumer worship on Mother’s Day pales to the handmade frame fashioned from old puzzle pieces or the tiny handprints of your little munchkin in blue paint on red construction paper or the delightfully, lovely macaroni necklace that you wear proudly to church on Sunday morning because it is the perfect accessory for you favorite dress.

I have to confess that I am a little ambivalent about Mother’s Day, the way it has become an institution in of itself to worship and praise the awesomeness of Mom. Some of my conflicted feelings stem from my own complicated and toxic relationship with my own Mom. I love her. I love her so much. But I just can’t be a part of her life nor allow her to be a part of mine. Logically I understand the poison comes from her untreated bipolar disorder. Emotionally I just can’t get past the damage it has done to me and I dare not risk the same damage on my own family. So if I knew where she was and wanted to send her a Mother’s Day card I would be struggling to find just the right one in the Hallmark-y type store. All the warm fuzzy cards just don’t seem to express truthfully how I feel. We both know any of them would be a big fat lie artfully rendered in a heart-warming poem with soft focus art. Mom is/was not a saint but she is my mother and yes, I do love her.

My ambivalence continues in that I know I am not a sainted, perfect mom as well. Compared to the moms described in those cards I, well, I present as a bad mother. At least I am in good company.  Seriously, I can’t wait for her book to arrive to the Big Top! While I know that I don’t fit her description of a “good” mother:

“A Good Mother remembers to serve fruit at breakfast, is always cheerful and never yells, manages not to project her own neuroses and inadequacies onto her children, is an active and beloved community volunteer. She remembers to make playdates, her children’s clothes fit, she does art projects with them and enjoys all their games. And she is never too tired for sex.”

I am confident that I am the kind of mother “who loves her kids and does her level best not to damage them in any permanent way. A good mother doesn’t let herself be overcome by guilt when she screws up.” Oh how I have screwed up… a lot. Don’t believe me? Just ask my kids. Thankfully, they forgive me…right, kids?…Just like I try to forgive myself as well.

Happy Mother’s Day to Moms everywhere…to the sainted ones, to the “Good” ones, to the good ones like me, to Ms Waldman, to Holly Austa (my darling daughter #1)…

and to my own Mom…wherever you may be. I love you.

Your daughter,

Laura

still counting kisses

We are still counting kisses except now he is beginning to read it to me.

:::sigh::::

for the sleepless new mommies

Continuing on our sleep deprived theme, remember uninterrupted sleep?

Barely?

It’s okay. It will come back, I promise. Of course the sleep-deprived nights return once your precious ones are teenagers and young adults. If you don’t get why then you aren’t the parent of a teenager or young adult who drives and who is out at night. You’ll get it someday, I promise you.

In the meantime allow me to pass on the opportunity for you participate in a survey and study of mothers’ sleep and fatigue. This study is open to all mothers with babies ages 0-12 months of age. This study is hoping to include a broad base of participants including breastfeeding and non-breastfeeding women and women of all ethnicities and income levels.

The study hopes to document:

• where and how much do babies sleep?
• are mothers who breastfeed and co-sleep more or less tired than mothers who don’t?
• are mothers telling their friends, relatives and healthcare providers where their babies sleep?
• what is the role of depression, psychological trauma and difficult birth in mothers’ ongoing daytime fatigue?

The questionnaire takes 20-30 minutes to complete and is confidential. It has been approved by the Institute Review Board at Texas Tech University Health Sciences Center, Amarillo, Texas.

For more information about the study contact Kathy Kendall-Tackett at kkendall at aol dot com

You might also check out Sleep is for the Weak which may not give you insight on how to get that precious one to sleep through the night but at least you’ll know you aren’t alone in this and your deep, dark, sleep-deprived thoughts. Your normal and it’s more than okay to laugh until you want to cry.

neither wind nor work nor gallbladder attacks will hinder me…a.k.a. the winners are here!!

I bet some of you thought that I forgot about that bloggy book giveaway. Relax. I was just a little bit distracted or hindered. I had to work last night and then there was this unexpected little thing called a gallbladder attack that kept me just a wee bit distracted. Ay yi yi! That dang gallbladder nearly killed me. But once again vicodin proved to be my very good friend.

So here we are, the winners of the juggler’s bloggy book giveaway courtesy of Hatchette Book Group USA.

Here is your completely unbiased name draw-er.

Don’t judge me. I DID brush his hair before I took this picture. And then he promptly messed it up right before I took this picture.

And the winners are

Congratulations Lennie Locken, lcsa99, Shana, Asthmagirl and Evil Chef Mom. Daniel has chosen you! Now I promise that I am not an axe murderer or some weird psycho stalker person so if you trust me (you do trust me, don’t you?), please email me your address so we can send your book a.s.a.p. Send it to nicurnmama at aol dot com.

30 weeks growth

At 30 weeks my granddaughter weighs over 3 pounds now, is over 16 inches long and she is fattening up. I’m thinking that if she is anything like her mama she is probably getting a little bored too.

in the hat

Daniel’s class celebrated Read Across America yesterday. To celebrate they had a special breakfast party and read Dr. Seuss classics. Of course they dressed up for the occasion.

Mommy: Daniel, you look just like The Cat in the Hat.

Daniel: Yeah.

Mommy: I love The Cat in the Hat.

Daniel: Yeah, me too.

Mommy: But my favorite Dr. Seuss book is Green Eggs and Ham. I love Green Eggs and Ham!

Daniel: But I do not like green eggs and ham.

Mommy: Okay. …Sam I am!

And what is your favorite Dr. Seuss classic?

it’s ba-ack! wisdom in a coffee cup

Remember when I shared wisdom from a coffee cup? I love reading these things on my Starbucks cup. One way or another, they manage to provoke a little thought and as confused as I am capable of being, I need all the thought provocation I can get.
Yesterday proved to be a cool, blustery day with the promise of the next season just around the corner so I forsaked my usual summertime vente non-fat iced white mocha no whip for a hot non-fat white mocha no whip. Of course this confused the baristas because Holly wasn’t there but soon enough, I had my hot cup of caffeine goodness as I headed off to work. Once there I took the time to read the latest installment of The Way I see It. This was so good that I just had to share it with y’all. So here you are, a little wisdom from a coffee cup:

All children need a laptop. Not a computer, but a human laptop. Moms, dads, grannies and grandpas, aunts, uncles ~ someone to hold them, read to them, teach them. Loved ones who will embrace them and pass on the experience, rituals and knowledge of a hundred previous generations. Loved ones who will pass on to the next generation their expectations of them, their hopes and their dreams.
~General Colin L. Powell
Founder of America’s Promise~ The Alliance for Youth

Speaking of reading…
Today is Read Across America. Share your lap with a child you love and read together!