but I am THAT mom

No, I am not that mom who will put up with her children screaming or running amuck in public places where good behavior is expected…anymore! But I am the mom who will gladly, proudly celebrate that which makes me an awesome, phenomenal woman and joining Lotus of Sarcastic Mom and other equally phenomenal, awesome women and mothers in the Bewbfest ‘09.  It was all good, clean fun as we celebrated all the glorious shapes and sizes that we are. It was all the more fun because I am the second runner-up in this year’s Bewbfest. I have to thank everyone who voted for me…repeatedly including my darling hubs (nice to know he still appreciates the girls) and my older kids. It’s nice to know that the average sized, over forty, mother of five, grandmother of one rack can stack up to the 20 and 30-something mom bloggers out there. Thank you!

Of course right about now I am imagining my mother and her fellow “bra burners”  are cringing over what might appear to be blatant objectifying of my physical self. Perhaps it is a little objectifying but I see it more as celebrating and reclaiming a little bit of our physical selves. It seems that much is measured  in our physical selves as women, particularly our breasts: what is considered to be the ideal size and shape, our sexuality, our ability and decision to nourish the children we give birth to and how well we “hold up” as we age. No wonder so many of us complain about and dislike our own bodies, including our breasts. To me, The Bewbfest and The Boob Emancipation do a little celebrating and reclaiming the right to celebrate part of our own physical womanliness. There’s nothing dirty or tasteless in that. It’s just boobs, our boobs and we are pretty damn proud of them. I don’t see that as setting us back but rather liberating us even further. Being the mother of four daughters and grandmother of the most amazing grand daughter it is a big deal that I model confidence and a little self-love in the body that God has given me for my girls.

I have to say that I owe my size and shape not only partly to great genes (thanks Mom and Dad), a pretty great bra but also to my joining that cult that is the Shredheads. Remember when I posted my pre-shredding picture at over 180 lbs? Yeah, I’d like to forget it too. But I’m glad I did post it and share the beginning of my shredding experience. I am even more grateful for the accountability, support and beginning friendships that the Shredheads has offered. Most of us have moved past Jillian’s 30 Day Shred and Bob’s Yoga finding running, weights and other forms of exercise equally challenging in our quest for fitness. The results among my fellow Shredheads has been amazing and inspiring.  For mepersonally I have seen a significant amount of weight and inches lost and currently I am just 10 lbs shy of my personal goal. I’m not going to make the mid-July, family vacation date I set for myself to achieve that goal but I have to say that I am going to be very close. I couldn’t be prouder of that achievement too. Even better, the added bonus of all of this shredding and now jogging/walking/weights/yoga is my darling hubs is now heading to the gym working with a trainer and it is beginning to show.

Looking good in jeans,that little black dress, a swimsuit, and when I am brave enough, a bikini is pretty cool. Looking great for a forty-seven year old woiman and being told so, especially by my husband and kids is wonderful. Feeling good physically and mentally, feeling strong and feeling incredibly energetic so that I can do the juggling that I do is the best of all. Yes, I am THAT kind of mom. I am doing this for me, my hubs, my kids and my grandkid. I can’t think of a better reason.

here ya go, mom!

So remember when I said that my darling daughter #4 better score some platinum for her mama this weekend?

She did.

Three times.

Three more dances to be performed tomorrow. Good luck Jodie!

and the winner is…

ME! I am Christian Siriano’s twin (okay maybe more like I resemble his mother…aunt?)

and the winner of Sunshine’s And the Pursuit of Happiness 2nd Annual Celebrity Look Alike Contest.

Trust me, there is no other blogger award being awarded today that is as important as this one which is why I graciously accept this award and thank everyone who voted for me…often…especially all of my circus clowns because I told them to. That’s just further proof that in spite of all of my juggling of all that I juggle I am a good mom because they do exactly what I tell them to do…sometimes!

Thanks kids!

Thank you everyone!

Thank you Fendi eyewear!

And thank you Christian for being so fierce!

P.S. to Sunshine: when you do go on the Bonnie Hunt Show, bring me along and get Bonnie to book Christian. We’ll have so much fun. It will be totally a fiercely hot mess.

blogger rising

I am so honored to receive this award!

Over at The Rising Blogger, JHS, Esq. of Colloquium has recently taken the reigns as editor where she and her collaborative team are devoted to finding and spotlighting the best of the blogosphere in order to help bloggers find, enjoy, appreciate, and validate the work of other bloggers.

The Rising Blogger Post of the Day Award is bestowed upon original content that is insightful, inspiring, newsworthy, educational, informative, touching, creative, interesting, humorous or . . .

Like I said I am so surprised and honored to receive this award and to be featured. The news came at a great time for me last week when I was really questioning my baring perhaps a little too much of myself. The post selected, Breathing In and Out, was, more or less, a rant that spewed from my mind to my fingertips as I two-finger typed what I was feeling at the moment. I filtered nothing in that post. As the week progressed, I found myself re-thinking that post as well as a few more that followed. I want to be authentic to myself and to those who read this blog…and who might read it in the future. Still I don’t want to hang out too much of my garbage and baggage like my neighbor hangs out her underwear for the neighborhood to see. I reveal perhaps maybe only 5% of what goes on here under the Big Top. Of that 5% I try to share mostly good and funny things. But family life isn’t all perfect wonderful-ness like in the movie Pleasantville. So sometimes you get a glimpse of some of the garbage that can accumulate around this circus.

It’s a fine line we who chose to blog our lives sometimes walk. How true are we to ourselves, our family, our friends and our readers if we only share the warm, melted chocolate chip cookie goodness of our lives with our audience? Is that all they want to see or read about? As I teeter along that line I try to remain authentic by reminding myself what blogs do I read everyday without fail. Are they the Leave It to Beaver, Mayberry RFD type blogs or are they a little more real than that? My style of blogging, which I hope is mostly authentic, is a lot more real than wholesome, perfect life in 20 minutes with frequent commercial interruptions. For me, this award validates my choice to be a little more transparent. Life under the Big Top is a lot of joyful, hopelessly loud, chaotic fun and I certainly could never make up the stuff I do share. But life under the Big Top is sometimes messy too because it is so joyful, hopelessly loud chaotic fun. It’s a freakin’ circus! What else would anyone expect?

So with my acceptance of this award I am asked to pay it forward by nominating a post of another blog whom I feel is worthy of this honor. Keeping with the idea that we readers seek blogs where writers are real I want to nominate a post written by Nurse Sean. Sean is fairly young nurse in his career (compared to my over 18 years as a nurse). In the post A Dark Place, Sean shares his inner and outward struggle as he settles in his new role as a nurse in an intensive care setting. I identified with his dark place as a newer nurse trying to prove to the veteran nurses and docs alike that I had the skills and knowledge base to be there. As a veteran nurse, Sean’s post reminded me my own personal resolve not to be one of those crotchety old nurses who eat the fresh-faced-less-experienced-nurses-just-starting-out for breakfast. I used to be just like them only seeking to fit in, to learn more, to gain more experience and occasionally, be recognized for doing a good job…I still do in my RN-dotage. I imagine in literally any career, vocation or walk of life there are “young ones” like Sean who find themselves in a similar dark place where they are just trying to fit in and do their job well. I would hope that anyone who would read what Sean shares would be able to identify with him, even if they aren’t ICU nurses and perhaps gain a little more grace and acceptance for those around them. It is Nurse Sean’s post A Dark Place that I nominate for consideration for The Rising Blogger’s Post of the Day Award.

Do you have your own “post of the day” you would like to nominate? Would you like to be a part of The Rising Blogger team? Click here and definitely share.

blinded

My eyes are truly hurting tonight. Yes, perhaps it is the winds blowing the dust and pollen here but I am pretty certain the reflection of all the glitter, sequins…lots and lots of sequins and the gold my tiny dancer earned today is contributing.

Yes, I am going to gush over my amazing girl again! What of it? I can because I am the mommy.

Seriously, I can’t help but be proud of her. She is a tap dancing machine that keeps on grabbing more of those shiny, golden trophies. This is her first year competing so you have to let me have my proud mommy moment, okay? Her dance coach congratulated me saying, “Good job.”, after Jods collected her awards. I smiled and said that I really had nothing to do with this accomplishment. Her achievements are all hers and her coach’s…but then again I DID give birth to her. And I have been hauling her and all her rhinestone-y costumes all over Cali this year. And I have learned how to glue false eyelashes and rhinestones without glueing my daughter’s eyes shut…most of the time. Okay then. I humbly accept these kudos. But I must share these with my tiny dancer. She has worked so very hard this year dancing her little heart out while maintaining her grades (straight A’s) and other responsibilities.

Looks like I got my everyday best today. I guess I have to thank Fresno too…maybe just a little, tiny thank you.

all the gold in California

Well, some of the gold in California is in the possession of my girl. Jodie took gold (again) and first place (again) in her tap solo division and she and partner, Sydney, took gold (again), first place (again) and scored the top duo/trio award of their age division.

As far as the hotel drama, of course I complained, demanded a new room with clean linens and received one night’s stay credited back to my account after I flashed my travel agent credentials and offered my card to the manager.

One more day of dancing/competing our little hearts out tomorrow then it will be on the road again after sunset. Yuck, that means we’ll get back to the Big Top around midnight if we are lucky. I sure hope the ice and snow on The Grapevine will have melted by then. It has been very cold and wet (yes, it does sometime rain in Southern California) most of the day here.

trophied daughter

It’s very late but I have to share that my golden-haired child is a dancing star! She scored a few awards dancing her little heart out including a platinum award for tap solo in her age category and gold overall newbie in her age category.

And mom is getting better at glueing those false eyelashes and rhinestones on her…at least this time I didn’t glue her eyes shut.

this that and another meme

I am pooped! Hey, kindergarten homework is HARD! I forgot how hard it can be especially when you are helping a stubbornly reluctant five year old who would rather do anything but that. Well, almost anything since he would still rather not poop in the potty. Still, two pages down of matching shapes and colors and trying to get past the letter “D” when writing his name and I am worn out.
Yes, son, “D” is for Daniel but “D” is not for done!
Well now that we are finally done I am nearly too pooped to blog…I said nearly.
I do have a couple of tags to answer to and I must say that timing is everything.
First I have my dear neighbor and friend, Jenn’s tag from A Pickle for Your Thoughts.
It’s a little Happiness in Ten Things. Here’s the thing, I must write ten things that make me happy.

1. my husband in spite of the fact that lately he drives me to distraction: He just popped a little sandwich cookie in my mouth while I was writing this. Yeah, he is sweet so I guess I will keep him around.

2. those five kids of mine: Of course today I have dealt with the usual heavy sighs, eye rolls, declarations of dislike and the constant sibling bickering but they are my darling circus clowns, mine all mine.

3. discharging a baby home from the hospital: They could have stayed one day too long or four months, it don’t matter; I love the moment I get to carry them oout past the hospital entrance.

4. sleep: Sleep makes me happy, very happy. There! I have confirmed for certain family members the fact that I love to sleep…all the time.

5. a pretty pedicure: That reminds me…

6. a good massage: I had one of those recently which was so amazing and awesome. Who knew I had THAT much range of motion in my neck! I must figure out a way to afford this on a regular basis.

7. a smooth, glass of cabernet…or maybe a zin…or a pinot…or a merlot

8. the sound of my family sleeping: There is something so peaceful and reassuring to hear the sounds of my circus slumbering.

9. soaking in my hot tub

10. Did I mention sleep?

Here’s another meme I found over at Mom Writes. The Middle Name Meme involves writing a post using each letter of your middle name to describe something relevant to your life. How hard could it be to describe me and my life with the middle name, Anne?

Pretty hard. Actually, it was a little challenging but I will give it a go.

Aware as in intuitive: I have a sense of what people are feeling which I guess is one of the things that makes me a pretty good nurse. No, I can not read minds. Just ask Bill, he’ll tell you. But I often have a pretty good sense of what one is feeling.

Needy: Oh yeah. I am the typical first born of a dyfunctional family. Yes, I am the caregiver, the “fixer” and I do it because I need to feel needed. I can’t believe how long it took me to realize this about myself.

No-nonsense: In the everyday things I am quite practical. I have to be. I couldn’t possibly juggle the way I do and get the laundry done…most of the time.

Emotional: Bill is laughing right now and saying, “You think?” Okay, I will confess, I am a teensy bit emotional at times…well, actually I am quite emotional. But that is one of the things that makes me special. At least Mr. Rogers and Barney told me that once.

And finally, here is something that makes me feel pretty gosh darn special.
Awesome Mom recently told me that she loves my blog! She is pretty amazing and (oh yeah) awesome so I am very honored and flattered by her compliment.
Thanks sister~friend, you made my day!
I promise to pass this love on. Just let me get a little sleep tonight.

This much is true

Dear Carly from Ellipsis has graciously bestowed upon me the Nice Matters Award.
I must say that it made my day. Like Carly, I often wonder if what I am writing here really matters. I don’t solve all the world’s troubles nor do I have the answers to any theological conundrums. I just write about life as a mom raising five kids. It isn’t the most exciting thing in the world dealing with the care and feeding of a husband, a young adult child, two teenagers, a tween and an exceptional little boy whose needs are special. All that can’t be all that exciting can it?
I used to write all the time about my life as a nurse in the NICU. But I have shied away from that lately as I have seen privacy laws and the Healthcare industry corporate honchos shut down some awesome medical/nursing blogs. Because of that I have shied away from that part of my juggling act. I guess I am trying to find a voice that doesn’t break any laws or leave me worrying about whether or not I will have a job. In time, all in good time, I imagine.
What’s left is my life as it is. Definitely not too thrilling just my life. Receiving this award from Carly, I realize that it does pay to be nice and I graciously accept her award to me.

the final P & B award goes to…

Apple, particularly the iPod, Tunes, Phone, iWhatever-else-they-can-come-up-with division.
Of course the Big Top is full of ‘Pod people as any regular reader of our adventures in juggling will attest to.
The other reason because in a weird, warped way, Steve Jobs sort of resembles Brain to me…perhaps I am too tired!

I am blogging for good all day.