branching out

Thanks to a local Tweep of mine, Ruben Porras, I have a new adventure to add to my personal juggling act: a actual, real, paid writing gig. MY very first article is currently up and for your viewing pleasure. Because Sunday is the start of National Adoption Awareness Month I am kicking it off sharing a short list of famous and natural families. Go and check them out. You just might be surprised.

unattachment made simple

Anyone finding themselves up late into the night tossing and turning over what MY thoughts are on the mom who gave up her son by adoption? Well worry no more because I am finally able to talk about it a little over at the ModMomsClub.

You’re welcome!

Now I ask you what are your thoughts? I really want to know.

ciphering king

Arithmetic is being able to count up to twenty without taking off your shoes.
- Mickey Mouse

Seriously, the reading and writing thing is absolutely boring as far as my little man is concerned. But give him math homework…lots of math homework with word problems that make the student stress over how many apples Susie has when a train is traveling east at 70 mph with 56 passengers on board and algebraic thinking (first-freakin’ grade!) and he is all over it.

This is one of those many nature versus nurture moments here under the Big Top. Frankly, I am excited and curious as it continues to play out. And then again I have to consider the fact that my ex 24 weeker boy is loving math and is the math whiz of his classes (special ed and mainstream) and well, I have to do the happy Snoopy dance.

Now if we could only get this it-is-okay-to-poop-in-the-potty-all-the-time thing down. Then we will be absolutely golden.

heartgrown

Our family gathered with our friends and neighbors recently to celebrate Krysta’s adoption. It was a day to celebrate family in all it’s joy complete with spilled drinks, kids running and playing, babies crying, bored teenagers, too much food and cake…delicious cake.

Good times, good friends and family at its heartgrown best.

joyful

This sure did bring back memories for me.

forever ‘fected

Five years ago I began what has been a wonderful friendship that I hope to always treasure. I met my dear friend, and neighbor Kelly as we both moved into our brand new homes and neighborhood. Although she is younger than me we have discovered that we have so much in common. As our friendship grew from friendly neighbors to fondness to a genuine love and concern for one another and our families, I am so happy to say we have influenced and changed one another in a way that is for good.

A couple of years ago I came to realize my influence on my dear friend. Since the day when she first confided her wishes and intentions I have walked alongside her, her husband and her children as they have opened their home and their hearts to several children. I fell in love right along with them a few times and I cried painful, bitter tears as their hearts were broken just a little a couple of times. But today I celebrate with them as they step before a judge here in our neck of the woods to declare that they are the parents now and forever of the most delightful brown-eyed girl who resembles Dora the Explorer. Today they are Krysta’s forever Mommy and Daddy and brother and sisters. Today Krysta becomes forever their precious daughter. Today their family circle has grown.

My heart is so full of love for all of them. My heart is also full because of the pure joy that my own beautiful, beautiful boy expressed when I shared with him the good news of our dear friends and neighbors. I still am not too sure just how much he has processed about the facts of his own adoption but I have no doubt that he understands just how amazing it is when love takes you in and he is genuinely happy for our friends.

To Kelly, Nick, Desiree, Darion, Ryan and Krysta….I love all of you so very much and my heart rejoices with you. Thank you for allowing me to be a part of this very special day in your lives! I’ll see you at the courthouse.

exposing my boob for you all

What I won’t do to get blog traffic!

Seriously, Sunshine has been hosting an ink party the last couple of days that I hung out at. I think I drank too many margaritas at the party because I willingly took my top off for the masses all in the name of sharing ink. But it is all for good, really.

Most folks who have been regular readers here under the Big Top are well aware of the tattoos I have. For Sunshine I willingly shared my very first one because, well, a girl never forgets her first time and because it is the one that started it all. For those folks who don’t know, the tattoo I shared at the party is the tiny baby feet.

Isn’t it too-too cute? Not the boob, you boob! The feet! Aren’t those itty-bitty feet amazing?

These baby feet may be small, measuring only about 1 inch in length, but they represent so much. They are actual sized replicas of Daniel Quinn’s feet when he was born and tipped the scales at 1lb 6 oz. Those feet are beyond precious. Those feet are amazing. Those feet are attached to the strongest, bravest person I have ever known. The most macho, knuckle-dragging man could never, ever endure all the pain that my son has lived through.

The ink also represents the bond that Daniel and I have. There is nothing like the connection between a mother and a child. While pregnant with my daughters and later breastfeeding them, I enjoyed an amazing symbiosis that no one else could have with them. I was connected to the girls in a way that no one on this Earth could be and ever will be. For Daniel there is a connection between the two of us not unlike the one I have with his sisters. No I did not carry him in my womb. No he is not intimately connected to the sound of my beating heart since his conception. But he knows my heart beat and knows that when he hears it he is home and safe in his mommy’s arms. I will never, ever forget the very first time we made that connection. A person who has never made that kind of connection can’t even begin to understand just how connected adoptive parents and children are. Anyone who has never experienced the connection with biological children and adoptive children can not presume to say that they are different. For me they are very much the same. It is true that Daniel is not my biological child and while we do share many similar characteristics we do not share the same DNA. Still he was, is and always will be my child who was born in my heart on that day in January 2002 when we first met. The ink over my heart represents that emotional connection in a physical way for both of us.

Be sure to head over to Sunshine’s place because the party is still going on where we are all revealing the story behind our tats.

celebrating multicultural week at an elementary school near you

In celebration of multi-cultural week in Daniel’s class, he has been asked to decorate a flag, dress a cut-out person and answer questions that represents his cultural heritage. Easy right?

Well we could focus on the rich Irish and Scottish heritage of his father’s family tree. Or perhaps we can explore the German, Swedish and English roots of Mommy’s ancestors. Or we can delve into the Russian legacy of his biological line.

He chose Russia. So now we must answer a couple of questions. One favorite cultural food would be…I’m thinking that vodka would not be the appropriate answer to give for a kindergarten project. We settled on pancakes because Daniel likes pancakes. Another question is to name something special about my country’s culture. Sorry, mommy keeps on coming back to vodka. We settled on music, art, books and food.

I’m thinking that we need to explore and learn much, much more about the rich legacy that my son has grafted to our family tree. We make no secret of the fact that he is adopted nor do we intend to try to hide information that his biological parents chose to share with us (not much aside from their education and medical history). We have known all along that his biological mother was a Russian immigrant and have often told him that he is the Russian leprechaun here under the Big Top. Still he has yet to really ask pointed questions about the adoption and his own personal familial legacy. I am sure those questions will come someday. Perhaps his desire to celebrate his Russian ethnicity with this class project is the first step towards his search to know more about himself, who he is and where he came from. Or perhaps it is because he likes pancakes so much. Nevertheless it is a reminder to me that we need to learn more about his legacy because there is much more to it than the vodka mommy likes in her pomegranate martinis.

gotcha?

Thank you Becky, for pointing out my “Gotcha Day” link isn’t working. Here is another link that might help to explain what is Gotcha Day. Basically it is a day to honor and remember when this child of mine made our family complete. It was the day that we officially had first contact with him. It was the day that we were first recognized as his parents (to be). It was also the day that he finally gained an identity. In our family, it is the day we all first met as a family: mother, father, son. He grabbed a hold of our hearts (Gotcha!) and we made a unique connection with him not unlike the very first time we met face to face with his sisters. The adoption itself wasn’t final for another ten months but it was that day, March 12, 2002 that our family was complete.

To us it is all a warm fuzzy moment of a day we will never forget. Of course, as it is with just about everything, not all folks see the phrase “Gotcha Day” as so endearing. I swear sometimes parents in general spend too much energy fighting over which way is the right way in just about every facet of raising a family (MINE is the right way of course!)…as if we parents have the energy to spare.

So what do y’all think?

Gotcha or no gotcha?

origins

AS I look at this picture, that was taken last Saturday, I realize that it would have never been possible were it not for this day six years ago.