testing STARs

Over at Weary Parent, Char is ranting about the Standards of Learning Exams that her son is taking this week. I must say that I pretty much see eye to eye with her on the need for these tests. This annual education exercise can be a helpful tool for educators and students. It certainly helped to identify and create even more challenging learning opportunities for my daughters as they all (mostly) consistently scored in the tippy-top percent-ile. Still, like Char, I find myself frustrated over the fact that time before the tests is spent prepping the students to perform well. I would often question their teachers why it was necessary when one would interpret that the purpose of these tests is to see what my children have learned. The amount of pressure put on my kids during the weeks leading up to STAR testing was out of control. These are A-B students stressing over whether or not they will pass and what their STAR test scores will do to their chances in being promoted to the next grade level next year.

But the pressure didn’t stop at the classroom. No, parents were sent home reminders to make sure that we put a good, nutritious breakfast into the bellies of the little STAR test subjects. We also were lectured on the importance of providing the children a good night’s sleep during those two weeks of testing.

So offering M&Ms and Diet Coke for breakfast after a night of watching Conan, Kimmel and the ProActiv infomercials during STAR test week is a bad idea?

Then I can assume that it is still okay for Daniel because they don’t do STAR testing in kindergarten?

Can I resume my bad parenting bed time and breakfast habits once the testing period is over?

I wonder…

But the STAR test prep got even better this year. Our school sent home a letter with the standard laundry list of do’s and dont’s for parents to consider but they also included our children’s STAR test scores from last year with the encouragement that we should prod the students to do even better this year. They also were helpful in providing websites that offer “fun learning activities” (practice test questions) to help prep the students. What amused me was when I viewed the previous year’s test scores: Reading Comprehension- 100%ile, Math Facts- 100%ile, Math Comprehension 99%ile, Writing- 100%ile, Vocabulary- 100%ile.

Hmmmm….

Clearly the kid could do better. It must be the M&Ms and Diet Coke that her mama is feeding her!

In all seriousness, I DON’T take the annual STAR testing seriously. Yes that is right Mrs. Principal of my kids’ school. The mama who provides you with some of your consistent top academic performers just doesn’t care about the standardized testing season.

Why?

It is too much pressure. One year I seriously worried that one of my children might implode over the stress and worry that she was internalizing thanks to her teachers earnest efforts to prep her to perform well. The kid was at the top of the academic heap in her class yet she was freaking out over this standardized test? The school year was winding down and according to her last report card it was clear that she was more than ready for the next grade level having met all the objectives of the current school year yet here she was worried that this test was going to hold her back. I could not deal with this craziness so I let her in on a little secret her teachers forgot to share with her. While the STAR test certainly helped to identify her as qualifying for more challenging and fast-paced academic opportunities (GATE) its main goal was to show how well her teachers and the school were doing and whether or not they were meeting the state’s academic standards. Was she an accomplished 3rd grader or not? She thought this through and reasoned that yes she was a great 3rd grader who was more than ready for 4th grade. She then went on to take the test nourished with her M&Ms and Diet Coke and scored, once again, in the top tier.

Whoo-hoo!!! She looked great on paper according to the STAR test gods. Her school looked good thanks to her performance. All was right in the world.

But, like some things I do as a human parent raising these clowns, this bit of parenting wisdom came back to bite me in the butt. Fast forward a number of years later and the same child basically scored in the way-low bottom percent-ile of the sacred STAR test which made her appear to be on paper Forrest Gump stupid and not the ideal student for her new, academic over-achiever focused school. Her guidance counselor suggested perhaps we should consider the alternative school. Mommy~Dearest of course wallows in major guilt that the educators were right about our breakfast choices and my daughter’s brain was now the equivalent of mush. It was then that the darling daughter reassured me that I had not failed her because she basically filled in random bubbles making oh-so pretty designs on her STAR test. Why? Because, she sagely reminded me, the STAR tests are not that big of a deal in her academic career.

Yes, I repetitively banged my head against the wall over this one. But somehow we survived, she graduated from high school and no one really cares how she performed (or didn’t perform) on all those STAR tests that she had taken. Lesson learned. I now not only push the kids to bed early during STAR test week and forgo the candy and soda for breakfast for something more nutritious but I remind the kids that while the STAR tests are not that big of a deal I do expect them to do their best on them. Thankfully, we have survived yet another season of standardized tests so we are back to our late night tv habits and junk food breakfast habits…

KIDDING!!!!! …but only about the breakfasts and bedtimes.